Are you a Giver or a Taker?

Are you a giver or a taker?

I hate that this sounds so cynical but in my experience with relationships there seems to be two types of people. There are givers and there are takers. That is not to say that you can’t be both, but the bottom line is we spend more time being one or the other. It’s what we do when we are not thinking about it that is the true test of whether we are a giver or a taker. I’m sure we would all like to think that we are givers, but if we genuinely reflect upon our behavior with others many of us would discover otherwise.

When we are under stress such as in a fight with a loved one, does’nt’t it seem that the same person continually makes the greater effort to make-up? First to apologize; quick to forgive their partner even if the “taker” made a half hearted attempt at making a mends; that’s the “giver.” The person that pleads ignorance and seems to pretend as if the fight never occurred, going about there day as if they were not aware that their significant other is hurt; that’s the taker. In the best of relationships the two parties involved share the roles of giver and taker evenly, they compromise.

However our relationships with others are complicated by how we feel about ourselves.
(For instance what did we grow up with in terms of parents, givers or takers?). Do we feel we have to take because we are convinced there aren’t any givers out there? Do we feel we deserve to take? Do we feel we have to give or others won’t care? The scenarios are endless and just thinking about them is exhausting. The reality of the situation is that it doesn’t really matter what happened in the past. What matters is what is happening right now. If your last relationship ended because the ratio of giving and taking was not to your liking, chalk it up to experience and learn from it.

Don’t be blind and continue to make the same mistakes with the same types of people. The reality that I wish to share with you that will transform your life is that the only truly happy and fulfilled people are the givers. How we treat others is directly linked to who we attract. We let into our lives people that treat us in similar ways. Giving begets giving. However you have to trust this to be true to let go and give it a shot. So the key is to be a giver. Practice giving of yourself to others. Giving to friends, family, even strangers will enrich your life beyond your current comprehension. It is the road to recovery that you need to focus now.  Giving seems counter intuitive, but it works.  It attracts those that give back as long as you recognize the difference between the two types.  Say yes to those that reciprocate and not to those that do not.

So how is it that we learn to be a giver? Is there a class, a book to read, or is
it just the personality of some people to be givers. The reality of the situation is that givers are created in essentially the same way that takers are. Givers start by giving to themselves. They treat themselves well. They understand and believe that they are worth the effort. If our site were to convey one message to you it would be to be good to yourself, as it is the basis for recovering from a break up. So start being a giver today and start with that person in the mirror.

Here is a cool little self help guide you might like.  It’s cheesy, but what the hell - it can’t hurt…

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