A little success never killed anyone…

We create our own reality. That’s the beauty of life.  Your reality at the moment may be that a great pain has stricken your heart.  Breakups will do that.  Nevertheless, this breakup can also be seen as an opportunity to change your life for the better - to succeed now that you are free to do so.  You may have viewed your life as satisfying, but there is always room for improvement.  That improvemt comes from letting go of the past - from letting go of your attachement to your ex. Let’s say your mad at your ex for leaving you.  Great, use that energy to create success.  Success is not luck, by the way.  It is a set of skills that can be learned or taught.  These skills take practice of course, so you need to start now.

The best revenge is success. Why?  Because it works.  If you become successful after a breakup, then all the pain and drama you went through was worth it.  I know, I know, I make it sound easy.  I realize that while in a state of emotional trauma, everything seems daunting.  That is where practice saves the day.  Just take it one step at a time. You wake up depressed and tired, you put on your shoes one at a time, then you go out and do one thing to improve your life.  The next week you attempt two things to improve your life and so on.  Take “Baby steps” towards your goals.  Time will pass the pain will subside and soon your focus will turn to improving your life and not feeling bad about your lost relationship. 

Thanks to many of our readers we’ve come up with three rules to a more successful you:

1) “THERE IS NO PAIN”:  In other words, the pain your feel is emotional.  It feels real, but the reality is that your emotional pain is under your control. Emotional pain can be controlled to the extent that you can force yourself to feel better day by day.  Morphing that pain into an understanding of why you are hurt helps you realize that there is no real pain.  Emotional pain is how we express loss.  Luckily, loss can be expressed in many ways.  You can pour your energy into work, exercise, projects or learning.  There is no pain, just your interpretation of past events.  Change your perspective and redefine your pain.  Make your pain work for you.  We find that many in a painful situation people have a sense of focus rarely seen in people who are content.

2) “NO FEAR”:  We are typically hurt by lost love because we fear the outcome of not having our partners with us.  We are afraid of being alone.  This fear reeks havoc on a person’s self esteem.  Recognizing that pain stems from this fear, helps us realize that being alone is natural.  Most of us have a fear of being alone.  It’s what makes us social beings. Despite this, we can learn to cherish times of loneliness and appreciate other types of love.  Love for one’s self for instance. Successful people move forward despite thier fears, some in spite of them.  Happy people learn to accept that we come into this world alone and that’s how we exit.  Depressed people focus on the lonliness and forget that it’s all in our heads.  Get up, get out and get healed.  All it takes is courage.  If there is no pain and no fear, then their is nothing stopping you from reaching success.

3) “THERE IS ALWAYS TOMORROW”:  Focusing on the future helps us cope with today.  Facing what comes next with courage and optimism is the key. Constantly looking back is the downfall of all who attempt to climb out of the doldrums.  There is no better way to make yourself feel better than to start a plan that will come to fruition in the distant future.  If you have something to look forward to, you automatically start feeling better.  Start a new project, take some classes, learn a new language, do something good or bad.  Start today, before you know it the road you chose will lead to success.  The first step is always the hardest, so take a leap of faith and start now…

“…Todd Parr got hit with rejection after rejection from art dealers. He dealt with the blows in a way perhaps not all psychologists would be quick to recommend: He went straight into denial. “I pretended they didn’t happen. I’d be wrecked on the inside for a moment, but I wouldn’t give up. I was naive, blind, and in denial-but determined!”

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