I’m sorry didya say something?

I often hear how Men never listen to Women. I gotta say, I totally believe it. I often find myself talking directly with men as apposed to indirectly with women. I thought about it for a while and finally realized why. Men rarely require me to figure out what they’re saying. I know, that’s not politically correct. Please let me explain. Men automatically expect other men to relate. That helps me, as a man, to say whatever is on my mind to other men. I think that’s part of the whole male bonding phenomenon. I often expect that a man is going through the exact same thing I’m going through. I also assume (ladies you are going to love this) that men are not emotionally intuitive enough to figure out what’s wrong with me. This negative stereotype is what makes talking to men a breeze.

A man often risks very little when revealing intimate feelings or outlandish thoughts to another man. Very little judgment happens in a male conversation, since the true impetus for statements and revelations rarely come to the forefront. If you assume they (men) relate to you, while understanding their limited ability to intuitively understand what you’re actually saying, then talking openly requires little courage or thought. You just say what’s on your mind and call it a day. Yes, I said here first. Men need to be told what people feel, we are not intuitive enough to guess. I am pretty sure it has something to do with how we are socialized as boys. We are taught to grab dominance and quickly turn to charm within a relationship, not to help another person with their emotional problems.

Women tend to read past all the charm and fake dominance. They look for the root of statements - the reason statements are made. They look for the heart of most conversations. This is one of the reasons women have so much faith in men. Don’t get me wrong that’s a great thing, except that men rarely live up to all the hype. This faith leads women to state their case in a hidden code, hoping that men will pick up  on subtle hints. Women hope men will delve deeper into the conversation. Unfortunately, men just hear the words and rarely read between the lines. Men try to intuitively guess what women are implying, but there is where all the problems start. Our intuitive abilities are numbed by all the male bonding. What I mean is that when men bond they get very blunt straightforward statements that require very little intuition. Also, since men assume other men relate, they are pretty open with speech. Men reveal to other men the most outlandish ideas and statements. What does that say about gay couples. Hmm, interesting topic. I’m not sure what it means. I assume that same sex couples run into similar problems. Not listening is not a male disease. It develops from a male perspective and socialization. I assume there are a lot of women that do not listen and a lot of men that do.

Again, society reinforces a women’s ability to help others through emotional problems. Environment is the key to a person’s ability to listen. If you hang out with the boys all day, your ability to listen may be greatly hindered. Yes, I am buying into stereotypes. You have to understand, it makes things much easier for me as a man to do so. Try empathizing with men and then tell me what you think. I’m not alone here, trust me.

“It just seems that men and women will never get anything right when it comes to their relationships, not even the listening part. You see, not being able to communicate is one of the reasons why so many relationships and marriages end in failure. Not being able to listen is the other major reason why people get on each other’s nerves…”

READ MORE…